His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
