I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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