dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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