didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
