he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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