I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
