At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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