Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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