When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
