i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
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if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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