i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
