Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
