Plan B is the new Plan A
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Help. Why am I so naked?
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