When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Quick, to the slutcave!
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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