We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
