we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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