You smell like stripper and shame
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
You're like the curious george of whores
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize