that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Randomize
