Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
