We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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