We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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