Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
