So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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