I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize