absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
