no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
