Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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