I can tuck mytits in my pants
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
