Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Randomize
