Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
