So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
