Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
