Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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