What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
