Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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