I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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