just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
