That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize