After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
