**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
