Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
