I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
this hospital has no fireball
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
