you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
