Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
And then he peed in my hair
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