either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
