god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
