Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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