she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize