Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
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