we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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