i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
