Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize