Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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