At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Panties = found
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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