either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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