Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
