i just google imaged poop.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
