Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
