I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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