I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
