I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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